So you've been on a few dates and, frankly, you're hooked. Unfortunately, you're not sure that she's quite as smitten. You want something more heck, you may even want something serious but how on earth can you make sure you get it?
Don't despair. There are strategies science reckons can turn an occasional date into a whole lot more. Read on for the lowdown on how to make a woman fall for you.
Touch her more
We don't mean you should touch her in a way that, at this stage in the relationship at least, might be considered inappropriate. But if you're at the hand-holding stage, don't act cool and walk a yard apart. Hold hands whenever you can. Hug whenever it seems right to do so. Linger a little over that farewell kiss.
That's because periods of intimate (but not too intimate) touching are what scientists reckon spark the bonding process. Specifically, they cause oxytocin the so-called love hormone to flood our brains, turning them all gooey and mushy (metaphorically speaking) at the same time. The more you pump her full of oxytocin, the more chance you have of turning a date into a girlfriend.
Stare her out
But not in a weird way. The basic and well-documented science is that we like people who like us, and psychologists have discovered that our subconscious minds take serious (but not creepy) eye contact as a sign that someone thinks well of us.
If they don't make eye contact our minds take it as a sign that we're not interesting enough to keep their attention, and because they don't appear to like us we don't fall for them.
In other words, looking right into her eyes might just work. Professor Arthur Aron, of the State University of New York, put strangers of the opposite sex together for 90 minutes and had them discuss intimate details about themselves. He then made them stare into each other's eyes for four minutes in silence.
The results were astounding. Many of the couples said they felt a deep attraction to each other, despite never having met before. Weirder still, two of the couples random people thrown together for an experiment, remember ended up married.
Don't drown your natural aroma
There's a famous experiment where women sniff the armpits of unwashed T-shirts recently worn by men and choose the scent to which they're most attracted. Each woman tends to choose the shirt of the man whose immune system is most different to her own. That's biologically canny. Mixing two very different immune systems would mean any resulting children get the best of a wider spectrum.
That last bit doesn't help you much. The fact is, if your immune system is too similar to your date's it might put a subconscious block in her mind on any chance of a future relationship.
But the experiment does show the power of smell in human bonding. Without knowing it, a woman needs a good whiff of your genetic payload to decide whether or not you're a good bet as a future father to her children.
So we're not saying don't wash and wear sweaty T-shirts that would put her off far more than any immune system incompatibility but don't completely mask your natural chemical scent with overly strong deodorants or aftershaves.
Buy some new threads
Studies show that women might want a testosterone-fuelled love machine for a one-night stand, but for the long haul they want a man with status. So if you're trying to convert a date into a keeper, it's worth emphasising (or faking) your high status, with a few well-chosen and pricier wardrobe items. Good shoes make a good impression, and a nicely fitted designer shirt can't hurt.
Subconsciously she wants to know that you have the resources to look after her and the children you have together when the time comes (don't worry, only her subconscious is looking that far ahead). One or two top-end items could make the difference, especially if you've been dazzling her up until now with nothing more than charity shop chic.
Take her somewhere fun
Or on a political march (if she believes in it too), or to see her favourite play, musical or band live. She'll appreciate the gesture, but there could be something more profound going on too. Professor Aron from State University has been studying what makes people fall for each other for many years and believes that meeting up under "highly arousing" conditions is the best way for people to get that loving feeling.
To put it simply, if she's highly stimulated by the music or action, she'll experience other emotions such as her attraction to you at a heightened level as well. Of course, she has to be keen on you in the first place, but a bit of drama might be enough to push her over the edge and into loved-up territory.
It's why people who have been in life-or-death situations often end up getting together. Happily, you don't have to go that far.
None of these methods will work if there isn't a basic attraction in the first place. You can't turn a 'no thanks' into a 'yes please' simply with a new shirt or prolonged eye contact. If you're really not the one for her, you just have to accept it.
What they might be able to do is confirm her first impressions, and make her put natural doubts and reticence aside. In a nutshell, it could make sure the right one doesn't get away. Try them out and see.
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