Relationships are hard. Dating is even tougher. And meeting a top chick sometimes feels impossible. It's no surprise porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. Not that single blokes just stay at home and watch porn all day they go out on the quest for hook-ups, flings and even love. But maybe they just aren't going to the right places.
Here are 10 options to try if you're sick of pubs, bars and clubs.
After home, you spend the majority of your time at work. That's fine if you're a body painter for Sports Illustrated
but most aren't. All this time at the office means you see the same people on a regular basis, build a rapport and occasionally go for drinks together. So why not use the place as a dating network, too?
Ask that foxy receptionist out to lunch and plan your ciggie breaks so you're puffing with the glamour on level 11. Alternately, wait until the Xmas party, get your sleaze on and fail.
Don't go for anyone you work with directly. Never ends well and sometimes ends with one of you being fired.
The key here is picking the right concert. Rammstein is bad. Rihanna is good. Slayer is bad. The Script is good. We think you get the idea. Anyway, all you have to do is listen to a few tracks so you know some lyrics and buy a ticket. Once arriving at, say, Rihanna, marvel at the fact 99.5% of the crowd is hot chicks, have a few drinks to loosen up then weave your magic. The numbers favour you and there's minimal competition.
To avoid coming across as a douche, don't yell out lyrics, dance too intensely or perv blatantly; but don't be too tame or you won't catch anyone's attention. A bit of a balancing act but your efforts will be rewarded.
Festival season is pretty much over but keep this in mind for future reference. It's similar to going to a concert, except you don't need to check your behaviour no matter how much of a dickhead you think you’re being, there’ll always be a bigger tool than you. Every festival is crammed with thousands of babes who are wearing as little as possible and determined to have a good time, so you can't go wrong. Unless you get booted for trying to hook-up with a police dog. Hey, it happens.
Unlike a girly concert, festivals are also stocked with a shitload of blokes. Many of them look like they can bench press a car and have their own faces tattooed across their backs. They're the competition, so avoid chicks they're trying to tune. Unless you're the undisputed UFC Heavyweight Champion.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Dunno what that really means but it probably has something to do with how we like sport and they like home furnishings. When you've got common interests, that's awesome. When one of those common interests is rugby, that's almost reason enough to head out and buy the biggest diamond ring you can find. Girls do go to footy games in groups and we recommend you and the boys say hi before they try to get in with the players.
If you aren't really a serious fan then don't approach a chick at a game. Chances are she'll know more about the sport than you and your attempt will be embarrassing.
We can understand if you want to write-off internet dating as a desperate move. But have you ever been on any of the popular sites? Hotties galore! Plus, as long as you go with a dating site that's established, you don't have to worry that you might actually be talking to a 50-year-old bloke. Plenty of single people use them, so that means lots of fish in the sea. Assuming you aren't a 50-year-old bloke pretending to be a babe.
Although dating sites are regulated, people can still misrepresent themselves, so keep your wits about you.
Kiwis love to travel and they love a party. A Contiki Tour delivers both. Best of all, the ladies on tour are usually single, which is great if you're looking for a hook-up. Espeically if you're in Paris. Double especially if you're two weeks in and everyone's as toey as a Roman sandal. If that fails, you can always use your charming accent to try for a local.
Don't get too attached because your buddy probably won't. If you hail from the same city maybe give it a shot back home but if she's from another country, let it go, son.
Long plane rides suck. You're often sandwiched between a fat dude and a kid, the seats are cramped and there are only so many episodes of The Big Bang Theory
you can handle. In the rare event you get seated next to a stunner, make it count. She's almost forced to talk to you and, over the course of 16 hours, you should be able to lay some solid groundwork. If you find out you're on the same Contiki tour then you're golden. Also works for domestic flights, except you need to move a lot faster.
She might want to sleep. If so, don't wake her up otherwise that'll kill your chances. And watch what you talk about, because if you bring up something heaps uncomfortable in the first five minutes you’ll be praying the plane crashes out of sheer embarrassment.
It doesn't necessarily have to be uni; it could be TAFE, a workshop or any sort of class environment. What you need to do is sit beside the cutie, introduce yourself then pretend to care about the curriculum. Write stupid notes and try to make her laugh during class if she responds, which almost any girl under 25 will, you're on to a winner. If not, move to the back of the class and play Stick Cricket on your iPhone.
Going to Uni is expensive, so it might be worth trying to learn something as well as pick-up.
At the shops
The girl from the video shop, the checkout chick, the roughish babe with tatts who always serves you at the bottle store. You're a regular, and seeing as the customer is always right, there's nothing wrong in asking them out. It's a bit risky but if they give you any positive signs we reckon it's worth a punt.
If it goes pear shaped, make sure they aren't working when you next go in. Awkward.
Tried and true. It's a safe environment where you're guaranteed the support of your mates and it's likely she knows the same people as you. Throw a compliment her way, follow that up with a few funny stories and the next thing you know she's inviting you upstairs for "drinks". Make sure you leave a sock on the doorknob.
Don't have a crack at your mate's sister. Show some respect.
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