Research suggests that watching too much pornography can inflict considerable damage on both our health and relationships.
These days, pornography isn't just found on the top shelf at the newsagent or stashed away at the back of your dad's wardrobe. Porn is everywhere. It's available via a touch of the button on your remote control or on the move through your mobile phone or tablet computer. Primarily, of course, it's online.
Consider the following — according to statistics compiled by onlineschools.org, there are currently 420 million pornographic web pages. That would suggest 12 per cent of websites are pornographic. Every kind of fetish and desire (not all of them legal) is catered for, and if you don't like what your search engine throws up, more porn is only a click away.
The reason there is so much pornography out there is because men (and, increasingly, women, but that's a story for another day) love it so much. One major study, carried out by University of Sydney researchers, found that 43 per cent of 800 people surveyed started to view porn between the ages of 11 and 13, while 47 per cent said they spend between 30 minutes and three hours a day watching porn. Of these porn users, 85 per cent were male. Professor Raj Sitharthan, who led the study, said: "The reality is that porn is here to stay. What we need is a balanced view of the potential dangers of porn addiction, supported by good evidence."
As it becomes ever more accessible, porn is becoming something which more and more men just can't live without, and this 'addiction' is having a massive impact on our health.
A hidden health hazard
Is porn something we can really become addicted to? Yes, according to health experts. For starters, research suggests that viewing pornography results in the release of large amounts of dopamine, a feel-good chemical that overloads the pleasure centre of the brain — similar to when users take illegal drugs such as cocaine or heroin.
Surprised? Don't be. An addiction doesn't have to mean drugs, alcohol or other substances, says psychologist Dr Felix Economakis. "If my clients are engaging in some kind of persistent, compulsive dependence on a behaviour or substance and it is stopping them from getting on with their lives, then I treat this as an unwanted 'addiction'," he says. "An addiction does not have to be physiological, such as heroin, but it can be psychologically addictive or habit forming.
"With porn, some people are able to keep it to a contained level, just as some smokers can stick to five a day and not want to smoke more. Many couples will put on a porn DVD to initiate sex, but the healthy couples will soon forget about it and focus on their own sexual experience.
"Too much pornography is when innocent titillation at looking at free pornographic images on the net takes over and becomes more persistent and compulsive, and begins to intrude on other values and aspects of our health."
And as far as our sexual health is concerned, industrial levels of porn can be ruinous. Dr Economakis says: "Because of the sheer quantity of freely available content on the net, the temptation is free and easily accessible. Looking at porn can tend to stoke up the excitement centres in the limbic pathways. Once excitement is activated, a closure is needed to complete the circuit. For many, this is masturbation."
The fact that porn and masturbation go, ahem, hand in hand, is perfectly harmless. However, too much can make you behave in ways you would have otherwise thought unthinkable. Economakis says: "Some people will become quickly desensitised to the original stimulus and seek 'bigger, better, more', in order to get the same hit. This can even inadvertently drive them down a road they would never have taken in the beginning, such as investigating the more extreme fetish side of porn, or possibly even child pornography. When the brain is fixated on getting a hit, it can overlook the bigger picture and forget its values in the pursuit of closure."
Another unfortunate knock-on effect of our growing dependence on pornography is a rapid increase in incidences of erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy men. A 2011 study carried out by Italian urologist Carlo Foresta uncovered a strong link between pornography and erectile dysfunction; 70 per cent of the male participants who suffered from the condition said they were regular porn users.
Not surprisingly, this dependence — like any 'addiction' or bad habit — can also lead to feelings of depression and hopelessness. A study carried out at Melbourne's Swinburne University of Technology found that, of men who spent an average of 12 hours a week looking at internet porn, more than a quarter were moderately to severely depressed, while 30 per cent had high levels of anxiety.
Click here to destroy your relationship
Porn addiction is a wrecking ball to a healthy relationship. More than half the porn users surveyed by the University of Sydney were married or have a partner, and the researchers noted that excessive users often had severe social and relationship problems.
Dr Economakis says: "Porn becomes a substitute for real relationships and real needs. The brain thinks it has found an easier, cheaper short cut to getting its needs met, not realising it has lost sight of the real thing. Porn appeals to the immediate gratification aspect of the mind. With porn you don't have to seduce, coax, or stimulate your partner. You can just get what you need then switch off."
Ironically, more porn often means less sex, especially to those in a relationship. Siski Green, author of Tweetable Sex Tips (Smashwords, 2012), says: "One of the most worrying aspects of a porn addiction is that it can make you less inclined to have sex with your partner. Not because they're necessarily less attractive but because it's quicker and easier to masturbate to porn. When faced with a choice between doing something that requires a bit of effort and something that's easy, a lot of people will choose the easy option — and that can lead to a lack of desire for real sex."
Green also stresses that, like any addiction, a reliance on porn will only put distance between you and your partner. "Porn addiction is likely to interfere with normal behaviour," she says. "Perhaps you sneak out of bed for secret porn sessions or you lie to your partner about it because you feel ashamed. This kind of secret keeping can only do harm. It makes you nervous, creates a feeling of disconnect with your partner, and breaks down trust."
Hours and hours of endless porn will also give you a false sense of what sex should be like, argues Green. "The most important difference isn't visual, it's mental. Porn requires actors because it's an act, it's fake. Sexual pleasure and how you express it with your face, body, and voice is unique. This is something porn doesn't portray accurately, potentially leading to confusion or disappointment when you come across a real response to sex."
Leila Collins, a counselling psychologist and lecturer at Middlesex University, adds: "Getting the stimulation from porn sites makes your relationship less powerful, because you've always got something else to rely on. If you masturbate, your sexual desires are reduced. If you rely on porn, then you don't need to rely on a loving relationship you form with somebody. You get your satisfaction from a machine."
But it's not just your lover who suffers — your everyday relationships with friends and family are also at risk. Green says: "Any addiction has an effect on your day-to-day life. Your addiction, rather than you, decides how you live your life. You might find yourself spending more and more time and money to feed your habit, or you may become isolated and withdrawn, losing friends as a result."
How to unlearn what you have learned
If most of the above applies to you, then don't fear — you're not a lost cause. Professor Raj Sitharthan, from the University of Sydney, says: "Watching porn is a learned behaviour and we believe it can be unlearned. We are finding that people do understand that their excessive porn viewing is impacting on their lives and they want to change."
Ironically, this help could soon be found on the web. Eighty-eight per cent of the participants in Professor Sitharthan's study said that they were willing to seek professional help, but would prefer to seek it online. As a result, the Australian team is now preparing a treatment programme that will be offered online.
Relationship expert Green, meanwhile, says the first step is to 'fess up. "Like alcohol or drug addiction," she says, "you need to admit that you have a problem. You'll also need to analyse your problem; pinpoint the triggers, the underlying issues and find ways to avoid giving in. Talking things through with your partner or a counsellor is essential."
Alternatively, ask yourself if the issue isn't with you, but with the relationship you are in. Collins says: "Explore the problems rather than worrying about the habit of going on porn sites. It may be the physical, sexual relationship is not satisfactory enough, and not providing you with the stimulation you need."
No one with a rational mind is saying that watching (legal) porn is 'bad', but too much of it is undoubtedly bad for you. If it's starting to take over your life, then it may be time to seek help.
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