By Randy B. Hecht
Okay, our second date. This has some promise. I'm glad to know that our offline spark matched the heat in our emails and phone calls.
There he is, right on time. Oh, no. Am I blushing? No way. I do not blush! And I'm grinning like an idiot, too. How embarrassing. Oh, man. What am I, 15?
Wait—he's grinning, too. Flashing that sexy smile right at me. That smile is going to be the end of me, I just know it. And those eyes... oh please, please don't let me start blushing again!
But oh, no—he's already complaining about work again. That was one of the few things that turned me off during our first date. I can be sympathetic about a tough week, but he was really whining last time, going on about technical details that are way out in left field for me—and punctuating every other sentence with, "know what I mean?" I had forgotten about that. Ugh.
Try to refocus. Everyone has verbal tics and annoying habits. And he's such a nice guy. Maybe his job really sucks. And he probably isn't even aware of how often his sentences end in "know what I mean?"—though surely his ex-girlfriends tried to fix that.
What did he just ask me? Oh, this guy is good. Not only does he remember that my sister's birthday was this week, but he remembers her name and the present I got for her! That's a clear sign of interest. I'm impressed. Now I feel like kind of a jerk complaining about his work woes, even if he was whining.
Let me ask about his family. Come to think of it, he didn't mention anything about them on our first date. Uh-oh. Bad question, it seems. Honey, please don't give me lots of intimate details about your parents' divorce and why you haven't spoken to your father in—I'm sorry, how long? Look, we're not in a relationship here—some of this stuff is just none of my business yet.
No doubt about it, this guy has a serious negative streak. On the other hand, he seems really positive about me. Which is the real him, and which is the act?
Well, no one ever said dating was easy. He's definitely got his good points. No question that he's smart; he's made some really interesting comments about his travels and the books he's reading. And despite the flashes of negativity, he has a sense of humor that tends to sneak up on you when you're not expecting it. Obviously he's carrying some baggage, but I suppose I am, too.
Nope. Dating is not easy. But it is sort of an adventure, and if this one hasn't totally captured my interest yet, it hasn't lost it, either. After all, this is just a second date. I don't have to make any definitive decisions about him yet.
Know what I mean?
Home