When it comes to writing an online profile, how are you supposed to know what to say — and, more important, what
not to say? Sure, you're a catch — but can you put it into words without putting your proverbial foot in your mouth? Don't blow your chance to make a good first impression by inadvertently peppering your profile with turn-offs and red flags. To catch the eye of that sexy cybersurfer out there, be honest, be charming, but whatever you do, DON'T commit these fatal profile errors:
1. Failing to proofread
So you want to find that special person to walk though life with? Terrific: Now hit spell-check. The amount of care you put into your profile reflects the amount of care you put into yourself, your love life, and life in general. Posting a profile full of typos and grammatical errors is like showing up for a date with spinach in your teeth, your fly unzipped and your hair a mess. Before posting your text, check the spelling and grammar and then read it out loud to yourself. Does it sound like you? Do you come across as someone worth getting to know? If not, get back to work and put a little polish and shine into your profile before putting it out there for prospective matches to see.
2. Erring on the side of airy-fairy
On the outer edges of the universal consciousness lurks a seeker's soul yearning to meld essentials with a compatible astral being. Excuse me? Poetics and profundity are fine for that starlight stroll after a romantic dinner for two, but being overly cryptic in your profile is more likely to leave them scratching their heads and moving on than sending you a wink or a friendly hello. Be yourself, but do so in clear, understandable language. When you do encounter that perfectly attuned astral being, your happy souls will find plenty to talk about in whatever esoteric vernacular they desire.
3. Donning full-body armor and brandishing a sword
"Warning: Do not disturb if you're into head trips, mind games, back-stabbing, side-stepping, bad-mouthing or two-timing." Whoa! Sounds like we've got a bit of a baggage problem here. Even if life has dealt you some raw deals in the past, presenting a purely defensive stance make you seem like more of a warrior than a nice person worth getting to know. Lay down your weapons and admit that you're cautious and need to take things slow. Be brave and give love another chance to convince you that sometimes it actually can make the world go round.
4. Planting preemptive sour grapes
So, you think posting a profile is probably just a waste of time and really stupid, but you're going to do it anyway just to prove your point? Keep it to yourself. Coming across as a curmudgeonly skeptic who doesn't believe online profiles could ever really work makes you seem more like a sourpuss than a sex kitten. If you really think it's not for you, then don't do it. But if you're just hedging your bets to ease the sting in case of a disappointing outcome, why not lighten up and show a good-faith effort? If it's worth doing, then it's worth doing well. Give it your best shot, and you might just find the grapes you harvest are surprisingly sweet after all.
Article by Analise Pendergast, who is a freelance writer specialising in topics of sexuality and relationships.
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