I once made a huge mistake. I was out with a girl I liked and I told her I didn't like her friends. Sure, I was being honest and my gut told me they were rubbish people, but that's no excuse to start ribbing them to her.

In this situation honesty is definitely not the best policy — not if you'd like to see more of this girl you're keen on.

Why? Because she's known these people for longer than you, which means she'll rate the opinion of her support group far higher than some random bloke that's eagerly pursuing her.

So, to help you all avoid making the same stupid mistake I did, I've thought of a few ways to not only deal with her friends, but do so without sucking up or sacrificing your integrity.

There's blatant honesty and there's tact. Always go for the latter.

Don't immediately write them off
You always need to allow a decent timeframe to get to know someone. Expecting a person to be perfectly comfortable and themselves on a first date isn't fair, so why should it be any different when meeting someone's friends?

My point is that everyone should get a second or third chance. If they didn't impress first time around (apart from blatantly abusing you!), give it a few meetings before judging. Girls' friends are frequently more protective than men's, and if she's been hurt before then it's great they're looking out for her.

Accept that you are the one that needs to prove yourself to them, not the other way around.

Any other attitude looks arrogant. I'd like my girlfriend to make an effort with my friends. If she's interested in me she'll want to give the best possible impression, so you need to do the same.

Take an interest and ask follow-up questions
Are they boring you rigid with talk of tofu, high heels and dating disasters? Deal with it. At first, anyway.

Your ability to handle these situations will put you in good stead with your girlfriend. If you don't take an interest in her friends you can hardly expect them to take an interest in you. Fire a few ice-breakers around the table, smile and be receptive.

Same deal if you're being grilled about work prospects or other areas of your life. Don't reply with "none of your business!" — answer with grace and good humour. Try and find a common interest and work from there.

Birds of a feather…
I've always thought like-minded people come together, especially when you're in your twenties and thirties. If you've made every effort to be amicable and show you're a good guy, yet the girl's friends still act coldly or with indifference, you've got two options.

One, is to just accept they don't like you and avoid them. This isn't going to be fun or easy, and you need to ask yourself if it's worth it.

If you're at this stage then you probably need to bring it up with your partner. Don't make the mistake I did and bad-mouth them to your girlfriend. She'll immediately go on the defensive. Frame the question in general terms — "I'm not sure (insert names here) like me, do you think I need to try harder?" Or, "I'm having trouble finding things in common with your mates, any suggestions that might help?"

If that gets you nowhere then it might be time to take a harsher stance. It really depends how hard you're willing to try and what you're willing to put up with.

Ask yourself, why does she like these vapid/rude/difficult people?

There's a good chance you're looking at this girl with rose-coloured glasses and she's not the ideal girl you think she is. With that in mind, is it too harsh to discard the relationship because of her friends?

Personally, I don't think so. I'd struggle mightily being in a relationship and not being able to get along with everyone my partner is close to. But that's me. What do you think?

Have you ever had trouble mixing with a girlfriend's social circle? How did you handle it? Have your say below.

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