I've never slept with a prostitute. Yes, I've thought about it (we all have, right?), but never gone through with it — I've fallen well short every time. I know people that happily visit hookers and although I rarely broach the topic with them, we agree to disagree on our stances.

The thing is, once you put any moral issues or health related concerns aside, there are two pretty interesting arguments here.

My gripe with prostitution is this — how could you possibly pay for something that should be free? And, what is the point in having sex with someone that doesn't entirely want to be there?

Those two issues have always stopped me and will continue to do so. I can't be swayed, although I must admit, the defences I've heard are compelling.

Some guys would argue we pay for sex every time we do it. By the time you've met a girl, taken her out on a few dates, bought her a thoughtful gift and finally gone to bed with her, you've spent a fair bit of money. So what is wrong with using a prostitute and cutting to the chase?

Okay, that seems somewhat logical, but it's also pretty warped and disgusting. The time spent with the girl in this scenario obviously isn't valued at all, and the "dates" were merely a means to an end, which I find insincere.

The lack of emotional connection and romance also doesn't bother some men. While I have an issue having sex with someone as a business transaction, others do not. Their argument is that we mostly work jobs every day that we don't enjoy much, and our bosses pay us, so why should sex be any different? It's the same deal in a different situation.

This is also a pretty miserable — if not liberating — way of looking at the topic. If anything, these guys are upfront and honest about what they want. They're not using girls in a deceitful way, or trying to pose as an unlucky in love bachelor on a dating site just to get laid. They are paying for a service straight up.

I understand that, but even with that mindset I'd still feel like a failure.

Perhaps English television personality and author Jeremy Clarkson put it best in his latest book How hard can it be?. When discussing prostitution Clarkson writes, "Nothing says you've failed in life quite so neatly as a need to spend your evening bouncing up and down on six stone of Estonian skin and bone."

I nodded and smiled when I'd read that. Sure, you've slept with a hottie, but did she want to be there? What have you accomplished? Do you feel better about yourself? I'm doubtful you do.

Regardless of who the woman is and how or where you've solicited her services, the finale is always the same. You've paid for sex, and I don't think this should be about money any way you try and justify it.

Is it ever okay to pay for sex? Under what circumstances? Have your say below.

Email us at nzmen@msn.co.nz

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