We've all heard that nice guys finish last when it comes to meeting, attracting and keeping women. But how much of that is true? And, if it is indeed a fact, how does one replace the so-called "nice" qualities with "bad" ones and actually see a positive response from the opposite sex?

I'll come right out and say it: I'm not completely sure. I get the impression women use the whole "nice guy" spiel as an excuse to get rid of a guy they're not really interested in. It's a way of letting someone down gently, but it's also a backhanded compliment, so it's totally useless in helping these guys get to the bottom of their dating woes.

I also suspect women are disbelieving of a squeaky-clean image. It appears a guy doesn't get a clean slate unless he has a bit of dirt on him, and since no-one's perfect, men are written off as disingenuous if they come across that way. Nice, smarmy, cheesy and push-over all play at close quarters, so what you think is "nice" possibly isn't to a prospective female.

Interesting and compelling is important
Men often say that women always go for the jerks. It's a misconception. Women are attracted to guys that are interesting and a challenge to them — some of which can be jerks. If you're fawning over a girl she'll probably be flattered and consider you nice, but she'll certainly not be attracted or see you as a challenge.

Have a backbone
When it comes to being nice I think an old cliché is worth remembering: Don't mistake nice with weak. The biggest issue with nice guys is that they don't stand up for themselves, or at least that's the unshakable label that's attached to them.

How do you lose the pushover tag? Easy — have an opinion, don't change your mindset to mimic hers and don't buckle at her every request. In fact, she'll probably be sick and tired of blokes pretending they know her and bending at her every whim. This type of behaviour almost enforces the idea that you're not good enough for her.

There's also the problem that guys that are too nice won't be protective or stand up for her, whether it be verbal or physical. Most ladies like a guy who's masculine and powerful when they need to be. You don't need to be a muscle man or over-pumped jock to be masculine.

Don't put females on pedestals
A classic nice guy mistake is gushing over a girl. Yes she's beautiful and yes she's got your attention. No doubt she's got the attention of many men, so why join the flock? It is possible to register your interest with a woman without acting like she's a centrefold come to life.

Ask yourself, is she really that important and fantastic? Most likely she's not, and that's the problem with so-called "nice guys" — they're a drag due to the importance they put on everything. With the mindset that every girl is "the one" and every rejection massively upsetting, nice guys are frequently in a state of self-pity.

Girls can sense this almost immediately. Even if you're not overly confident by nature, you can still be upbeat, forthright and engaging. And, if you want something, go for it. You can be a little ruthless at times without being overbearing or pushy.

Be genuine
There is one major issue that nice guys frequently overlook: authenticity is the key. Trying to worm your way in with a girl by "earning" her or manufacturing an attraction is sneaky. Women can spot a fake, at least the intelligent ones can, so be sincere about yourself and let your own natural qualities shine while respecting hers. I'd much rather someone describe me as "genuine" rather than "nice".

I also don't think that spending a pile of money on dinner and drinks is necessarily nice. Nor is bombarding her with flowers or other superficial treats. Sure, at times it's charming and generous, but any bloke with money can buy gifts and as a result these items mean next to nothing. A good person is there when needed, offers unconditional support and has character. They don't look to buy someone's affection and wait to be rewarded for being "nice".

This expectation that a girl will notice you and fall in love with you over time gives females far more credit than they deserve. Yes, it happens from time to time and many people like to be friends before partners. My point is, don't expect this to happen — ie, don't see it as a proven formula. There are no proven formulas. Treat every woman as an individual and not a clone of the last girl you met. You'll be surprised by the results.

Remember, you can be a really decent individual without being too nice. It's up to you to find the line you're comfortable with, but if you're always true to your own values you can't fall too far from the mark. If that doesn't get the woman's attention, she's not worth the effort.

Is a nice guy a weak guy? What qualities are best when attracting women? Have your say below.

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