I recently saw a close friend get married. He wasn't the first of my friends to get hitched and hopefully he won't be the last, but while I knew it would be an incredibly happy and emotional experience for him, I completely underestimated the affect it would have on me.

Firstly, I've always enjoyed weddings. Few occasions allow mates to get together and celebrate a new partnership as well as the friendships they've made with each other. Aided by copious amounts of liquor everyone's in a good mood too, which is a bonus.

Mixed amongst the fun are the strange affects weddings have on single people — especially those over 30 or hovering around that figure. By that stage the pool of other singles is remarkably shallow and the concentration of happy couples in one place is rather jarring. You start thinking about yourself and why for some inexplicable reason you've been left on the shelf.

Okay, perhaps it's not that inexplicable. Most singles are that way for a reason, or at least their situation should reveal a few key factors that are operating as relationship speed humps (or barricades). Some of us are too self-obsessed to let anyone in, others are too picky, a few may be jaded from past experiences, and then there are the people that believe the right person comes when they're ready — twist of fate included.

I've thought about this frequently over my years of singledom. I can't say I'm any closer to an answer, mainly because it'll be different for everyone, but in the suffocating romantic air of a wedding, the debate in my mind was reignited.

What I can say is this: the grass will always be greener if you're not completely thankful for what you have. It's all a matter of perspective. Married couples have many advantages, and to singles they seem remarkably together while navigating life's traditional path with ease — it's normal to look at them in envy. But don't be fooled. There's probably more of the bad stuff and less of the good stuff going on behind closed doors.

Don't believe me? More than 40 percent of marriages in New Zealand and Australia end in divorce. That is truly dreadful. It depresses me that two people who've promised to be there for each other through thick and thin could pull the pin.

Call me naive (perhaps I am), but I can imagine the stresses couples go through, especially in hard economic times. Not only that, there are plenty of other factors that contribute to couples going their separate ways. Animalistic lust and romance does eventually have to take a back seat to other matters.

I've spoken before about why I think so many relationships fall apart, but that's merely speculating on what happens in a dating environment, not marriage. Marriage is meant to be for good, isn't it?

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Ask any married man or woman and they'll tell you it requires hard work, deep love and mutual respect to keep them glued. And I have no doubt the married couples I know have that and more, even if the statistics beg to differ.

But, it also helps me now understand why grooms are nervous on their wedding day. Watching friends exchange vows at a wedding gives you some insight into how vulnerable we really are. It takes a great deal of courage to put your emotions out there, especially in front of all your friends and family. If there's ever a time when your guard is completely down, it's then, and everyone is there to witness it.

Do I ever want to go through that? Could I ever stand in front of everyone that's important to me and commit to someone forever? It's hard to say. Any bloke that's not married or ever been in love enough to consider it can't answer that question.

What I can say is I admire the guys that put their balls on the line far more than the ones who don't. Surely it takes far more character to get to know someone and eventually make a marriage work than to simply satisfy your carnal urges with the easiest girl you can find in a pub when last drinks are called, or via some quick-love internet dating site.

The latter option may take some manipulative skill and seems good in theory, but only for the bloke that doesn't believe the right girl is out there. If she is, she'd never respect him. I, however, think she is, and while past experiences should probably make me think otherwise, there's no harm in some positive thinking.

I just don't expect to be standing in a suit at the front of a chapel any time soon. Looking at the current trends, that's probably a good thing. I'd definitely want to get to know someone comprehensively before taking that plunge.

Has the importance of marriage changed? Are weddings fun or depressing for singles? Have your say below.

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