Not long ago I spoke of my dilemma regarding internet dating. I wasn't sure if it would help my single situation or enforce all the negative notions I had for the online dating market. I eventually reached a point where I figured I'd push prejudices aside and give it a shot.

Related: Should I take the plunge?

Enter stage one — setting up a profile. I got no enjoyment from this at all. In fact, I dreaded it like doing my taxes. Attempting to sell yourself and fight for women's approval is just so try-hard, but much like applying for a job, if you want to beat the competition you'd better self-promote well (without looking like you're desperate to do so, of course).

I read the pointers on the site's FAQs and quickly dismissed them as ridiculous. Instead of the suggested six paragraphs of self-indulgent waffle, I opted for three short paragraphs with the intent of providing a snap-shot of myself and not giving too much away.

I also avoided the self-portrait with 'blue steel' pout that's become common on Facebook. I think the trend started with girls overdoing the make-up and taking photos of themselves in mirrors, but now its spread to men. Why, I have no idea. It's incredibly vain at best. A candid shot with a smile is surely more appealing.

Anyway, apparently the major catch is in the profile headline. If you write a great headline you will get noticed! Oh, the stress of this. It was only after I left the field blank and noticed all the ridiculous headlines others had written in their profiles that I went back to give it the necessary creative flair.

I only had what women on the site had written as a guide — naturally I can't see other men's profiles. But there certainly were some shockers. I can accept someone trying to be funny, and certainly don't mind something witty, but the below one came up a few times and I was quite deterred by it.

"Had my fun now looking to settle down"

This statement — or slight variations of it — appeared a handful of times while I scanned the pages of profiles. I'm not a female, so I'm not entirely sure what it means, but my fear is it's a euphemism for "slept around with whomever I wanted and now just want someone to take care of me for the long haul".

This is a bad sales pitch if I've ever heard one.

Firstly, what kind of man wants a woman that's had fun but doesn't desire any more of it? I like to think I'm fun and plan to keep that essential ingredient in my life forever, regardless of whether I'm in a relationship or not.

Secondly, what arrogant individual expects to "settle down" whenever they damn well please? To me, settling down isn't a conscious decision — it's one made by the heart. Surely it hits when you're with someone and can't imagine being in any type of relationship with anyone else.

Good luck pressing a button and having that emotion come across you.

Every person has the right to chase whatever it is they want in life. People's goals and values are personal. I understand that and respect people's honesty. Unfortunately, people with the above mindset may no longer be capable of, as they put it, settling down — purely because they're no longer worth settling down with.

My interpretation is that their heart has long been taken and replaced with a cold, calculated approach to meeting people and bunking down with someone who'll do. I guess it's the internet after all, so I shouldn't be too surprised.

I should also admit that I most likely don't come across as warm and charming in my very inspired headline either. I went with:

"Looking to meet some new people"

An inventive choice, huh? Ok, I'm not usually in the business of stating the bleeding obvious, however in a space riddled with double-meanings this is a safe option and not a synonym for anything — it is what it is.

I might look like a rookie and a bit bland from my headline, but if I'm going to either attract or repel someone, it'll most likely be by my natural photo and short personal description — neither of which suggests I've had all my fun, want to settle down, or hide deep dark skeletons in the closet.

That can be left for some other bloke — the one that's getting all the dates, most likely.

What are attracts you to someone's dating profile? Share your stories below.